"letting go doesn't mean giving up. it means moving on. it is one of the hardest things a person can do. starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. we feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. but as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. we are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. it means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so."

omgggggggawd. im having very very bad moodswings.
one moment im laughing my ass out.
the next moment im all gloomy.
this is utterly shitty mannnn.
dun ask me why. im searching for an answer as well.

back's aching again.
this time its really painful.
cant sit well. nor can i stand well.
its freakingly getting on my nerves
that i cant do anything well because of that.
i think i'll just bear for a month plus and eat those med obediently.
and i'll get SEEK PROPER HELP after september.

maybe its bad to drag.
but the thought that any treatment now means to rest
is going to give me more moodswings
and make my already miserable life like hell and shit.
):



pardon me for this but im really feeling fucking miserable now.

Labels: serious rantings

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yet another wk gone, just like that.
wondered whether i shd have stayed on.
never a good feeling to feel stranded.

yeaa anyway watched harry potter.
was okk. not bad.
shd have been longer i feel.
some parts were rather abrupt...
which is why i din watch with the canoeing peeps today.
hahaa they insisted i ps them.
oh whatever lar (:

the donuts were nice.
teehee me kangjun and desmond had free ones.
we just took them as if they were ours. *guilty*

mannn there's so much to improve on yet so little time.
cant imagine how infuriated i was when they all managed to score past me.
perhaps less than 50% of the shots were blocked.
):

feels a bit burnt now.
and itchy as well.
hahaaa |:
gotta start my proj. before i surrender to my bed.

Labels: amusement, canoe, course, serious rantings

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one round of submission over.
coming up: model and tod report.
kill me mannn.
oh well jonathan said have a break first.

wkend trg; always looking forward to them.
hopefully can make up for what ive not trained for last sun.
seriously last sun was a disastrous trg for me.
but oh well, all's over.
im just hoping to start anew.
or at least pick up from where ive stopped.

what keeps me going on is to play well next mth...
means alot to me.
its like an evaluation for me
where i'll decide on my next step.

Labels: canoe, nat champ, serious rantings

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i feel that im going to die soon.
seriously. i had so much to do within 2 days to be precise.
my sun's practically gone.
live earth's on sat.
dun even know if i can watch ):
sian.
so going to DIE!!!!!!

Labels: serious rantings

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Labels: artello, serious rantings

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im as blue as this ):

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after what happened,
ive been thinking alot.
shd i confront?
or shd i just shut up?

im confused.

im weak.
i actually cried over that.
be it serious or not,
im offended.

dun give comments so easily when
you didnt see my hard work.

trust me.

its farking infuriating.

Labels: canoe, serious rantings

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i so want to scream.
i so want to escape.
i so want to die.

confiding doesnt help.
the problem will still be there
unless something is done.

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lethargic.
sleepy.
tired.
wan to die alr lar.
wahaha.

my gawd.
im falling.

Labels: serious rantings

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we're getting close to competition.
and things are somehow complicated.

argh.

just hope all these can be talked about after competition.
cos they're affecting me.
impossible for me to push them all aside suddenly.

time.

the thing that everyone's wasting and lacking.

hope that everyone can put this aside and just jiayou.
haha esp me.
guess i just need to tell this to myself. (:
cos im very affected.

Labels: canoe, psychos, serious rantings

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gahh..everything seems to be taking place at the wrong time. many girls are not well. getting injured or falling sick. competition's less than 2 months away. we seriously need to take care of ourselves. but each has their own reasons and commitments that cant be ignored or put aside. yep me and nad will go trg tmr. probably only resa will come later. the rest arent in good condition to train. then another problem - circuit trg. die lar. how are we going to get all the girls to train together? probably splitting us into grps will be ideal. in small grps we train up stamina. better than leaving anyone out and that person doesnt train kind of thing. we're not entering the competition to gain experience. we're kind of on a mission. so we have to pia.

Labels: artello, serious rantings

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Labels: serious rantings

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