"letting go doesn't mean giving up. it means moving on. it is one of the hardest things a person can do. starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. we feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. but as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. we are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. it means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so."

still coughing and sneezing.
):
im home alone now.
(:

walked huiyu to kallang ytd.
so funny along the way.
i laughed my way thru.

slpt at 3 plus ytd night.
hmm. the drowsiness that the med's supposed to bring doesnt seem to have any effect on me anymore. 

interim's over.
i need to do better models.  
so jia you bah.
(:

-

HAPPY LEGAL BIRTHDAY XIU!!!

Labels: amusement, course, flu-ed, for-, psychos

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we're getting close to competition.
and things are somehow complicated.

argh.

just hope all these can be talked about after competition.
cos they're affecting me.
impossible for me to push them all aside suddenly.

time.

the thing that everyone's wasting and lacking.

hope that everyone can put this aside and just jiayou.
haha esp me.
guess i just need to tell this to myself. (:
cos im very affected.

Labels: canoe, psychos, serious rantings

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new year eve go training. siao? hahaa. the pool was quite empty. yea. no stanley. no akuma. who's gonna lead training when our captain wasnt around yet? in the end, desmond and daren led the training. i sort of spoilt the conventional paddle during drive-in shoot. used brasca instead. so much better for keeping. yea. and got a few pointers from kenneth - the super cool keeper, bro of akuma. hahaa. he's just cool lar. he never panicks. got the damn steady face. hahaha after talking abit, he's quite nice. i mean not as cold as he appears to be. after pondering what he said for a while, can say that i totally agree that height doesnt really matter. hahaa cos some keepers may be tall but if their reflexes arent fast enough, its also useless. guess he doesnt really know how to tell certain things he just showed it. he was like 'i keep, you look...' hahaa. oh yar, jo and i were like comparing the 2 of them in terms of their characters. definitely enjoyed jo's free show of impersonating akuma. ((:

played 2 matches today. the first one was a little sucky cos i let in alot of goals. from tiff. ): gotta improve more, prevent loop balls. (: second was mixed girls against junior guys. haha was damn happy that i blocked shawn's ball. i remembered how sarcastic he was when the shot i made during one of matches went WIDE. but i din do the same to him cos i dun want to be as low as someone. praise from daren is good enough. ahahahaa quite a morale boost cos he's a senior afterall and i've blocked a guy's shot. (: ray's debriefing was quite hilarious. yep. did loads of keeping with nad, we were like playing ard whenever the seniors are playing matches. also tried to block shots from seniors which made my hands suffered.

came home and had reunion dinner. haaha.. then slp from 7 to almost 12. yep and now, not slping. kinda energetic. chatting with poi. we were complaining to each other abt training. hahaa.

hahaa kinda addicted to keeping. i mean im like totally into it. like the sound when the paddle blocks the ball. nice and loud and crisp. totally cool lar. i hope i can train myself like a guy...the way i keep, not panicking during match. like how my seniors coolly keep each and retrieve each ball.

guess i've found my role model.

Labels: canoe, psychos

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today was an optional training...little turned up. only me resa weichen and his bro. poi came later and missed the running...10 rounds ard the track = 4km... -_- tried to do pull-up...men's one...damn it! i cant do it...): but i swear i will train hard during the hols. and hopefully before the yr 1 come in, im able to do at least one...currently, im looking up to nad who's able to do 3!!! (: dilly-dallying at the track until ard 715...we went to gym. like so late lar..like abit no strength to do anything lor. ): train my biceps until siao..hahaha..

home finally. resting my legs.. tired from the running.

why did i choose to be a keeper? i dunno.

self-psycho session begins: JIAYOU XIAOHUANG...

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yea. finished all papers..well..2 only : but today's paper was a killer. so many things to draw..i couldnt finish though it was a open book test. guess many will want to kill me...WHY CANT YOU FINISH A PAPER WHEN YOU DUN HAVE TO PRACTISE OR MEMORISE!? hahaa

tomorrow's training...shd be going for the trials bah. since nad's joining.. (: thanks alot..haha.
but im still feeling odd. like. out of place. haix. i hope i can pretend im sprinting alone, keeping alone, playing match alone. all. alone. yes. i dun wan people to see and then laugh at me can...

how childish of me. but i dunno how people see me. a noob trying to get into the national team. what a joke. haha but thats not my aim lar. maybe to prove that im not bad? to gain experience. (: a better answer.

xiaohuang's going to psycho herself again. you can do it. jiayou. you've got nothing to lose.

Labels: psychos, rantings

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had an unusual training today. so many people nvr come. quite quiet and disappointing.

only me, resa, jo and joan came. together kailing and alexis. 6 girls only. -_-
was quite sian cos stanley cant really teach much with so little girls so we were doing the dribblings and passings and drive-in shoot. DAMN PISSED with the-guy-with-that-damn-face. shant name who. damn cocky. another one had the i-want-to-slap-you-face. haix. i think i can scold all the swear words in front of them. -_-

playing matches was...haix wasnt really in the mood to play. so little girls lar. but we still played. the first match against the junior guys was hell. ray played with us. can see there wasnt much rapport between us and the senior girls. played quite badly. but managed to create some holes in their defence. second and also the last match. without the senior girls, in came kangjun and yuxiang. that one was MUCH better. they guided us well. in the sense that there's more communication also. i did better for that match also. though we still lost. but at least i blocked goals, i broke into the zone, i had chances to score, i won back the ball for my team. i was happier but more tired. :D sense of satisfaction. but i needed more confidence. JIA YOU XIAO HUANG!! I CAN DO IT~! WOO!!!

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first post of the year. im so happy that the new year's here. cos im closing on to my birthday. though my 17th birthday's just passed 1 mth ago. -_-

i just hope my first academic yr can finish VERY soon although i still have alot left undone and the presentation's just weeks away. jiayou le!

i also want to train up myself. i want to be in better conditions for training and hopefully, competitions. i want to be a better keeper!

i want to maintain a good relationship with everyone. but of course not to the extent that i will suck up to people. ok. i want to maintain a good relationship with whom i regard as a friend and keep away from suckers.

i hope manutd can win the premiership. as many titles as they can. but i think the premiership is still the top priority. and everyone remains injury-free. wahaha jiayou!

i want everyone i love and care for to be safe and healthy and happy.

i yearn for love? haha. well, if there is, i wont resist.

Labels: psychos

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