"letting go doesn't mean giving up. it means moving on. it is one of the hardest things a person can do. starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. we feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. but as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. we are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. it means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so."

i am too naive. thinking everything i perceive is the truth. thinking everyone around me are friends that wouldnt bear to lie to me. but i guess i'm seeing things on the very surface. many around me are lying to me. i know it myself. what i see of them are just a mask they put on. the darkest side is well-hidden, so much that i gave my trust to them so readily and completely initially. and i end up being the one badly hurt. its painful. to think that i stood up for them, defended them, and what i get in return is double of what has already happened. i am truly disappointed. as i've always said and force myself to believe that things would be different and that they would work out. but they are just bullshit i guess. ohmygod i'm so scared that i will lose confidence in people. i won't confide anymore. everyone's putting up a false front. promises are empty. they are just words said to pacify and assure the other party, but its never kept. what can i do? ranting doesnt help, but it does get things off my chest. i think i need some time to cool off. i need time to get back to the old and chatty me and probably regain confidence in them. i'm lost myself to cruelty.

/random
i hate being a girl sometimes. girls are petty and take things personally :/
/end of random

but until then the fact remains:
nothing lasts forever,
it hurts but it may be the only way.

at least reality taught me to be strong in times of adversity. what say you?