"letting go doesn't mean giving up. it means moving on. it is one of the hardest things a person can do. starting at birth, we grasp on to anything we can get our hands on, and hold on as if we will cease to exist when we let go. we feel that letting go is giving up, quitting, and that as we all know is cowardly. but as we grow older we are forced to change our way of thinking. we are forced to realize that letting go means accepting things that cannot be. it means maturing and moving on, no matter how hard you have to fight yourself to do so."

these few days very hazy. i think the PSI today hit 100. and everywhere's so smoky. i can smell smoke even when i stepped out of the train at LAVENDER - UNDERGROUND STATION mind you. yes!! and today. i woke up late...at 730am, cos resa din call to wake me up...!!! ARGH so i called her while rushing to train station..wanting to scold her. but she din answer. then she called me to tell me she just woke up...!?!? what sia..we were both late. so we decided to meet at dover. she took a cab and reached slightly earlier than me. then we rushed in. ODD, very little people. but good. we can do our warm ups better. more space. and use the whole pool somemore. today we learnt bow turn. thought it was going to be harder than stern turn but apparently not. i managed to steer my bow above resa's one after a few tries but still couldnt go over it. resa's also doing well. but her arm arh...we did sprinting also. wah lao. i sprinted with a senior and nadine and nehzil lar. but okay lar. 3 of us are more or less on par. yes.((: hmmm..what else..we learnt tactical play today. learnt quite alot from the seniors. esp. tingyi. cos of the fact she's in national team? and she's more patient? yea..i'd better be getting used to be called xiao huang lar..hahaha even yr 3 seniors whom i dont really know and nvr talk to before also called me that lar. played 2 matches. din play the second one cos i was supposed to try the keeper position but desmond took it. ): cant even try. but yea. i like and hate playing matches. cos you really learnt thru actually matchplay, the seniors will correct you on the spot and tell you you're doing the right thing. dislike because it's damn demoralising after a match. no matter what i will be looking very moody after a match. i can feel the stress. i dunno why. but yea, that's when i'll learn from the mistakes lar. debriefing today was like really effective? cos we get to tell the seniors our problems, and they've given good advices which we will definitely listen to. yep. oh jo and me are determined to try out keeper. so next week we'll 'take lessons' together hahaa...tomorrow should still be going polo. me and resa will do bow turn and learn hand rows and do dribblings and stuffs like that..yep.

listening to: hilary duff - wake up what say you?